Maii Purinsu
by x-xsupakawaiitexxasgurlx-x
Summary: Akemi takes a trip to Nippon where she meets Yuki in a grocery store! but she is important to him in ways he doesn't know yet...lemons later...review plz! :D
1. tsukemono

a/n: omg this is maii 1st story! sadly i don't own Furuutsu Basuketto but i wish i owned it esp. yuki! if u luv yuuuuki u have to review! xoxo x-xsupakawaiitexxasgurlx-x

**Maii Purinsu**

Hai!! My name is Tiffany Bloomingdale Butt, but most people call me Akemi nowadays b/c i love japan, aka nippon. i love nippon even more than I loved my ex-boyfriend Billy (a/n: fuck you Billy!), but that's beside the point. i love manga, anime, sushi, and japanese clothes. i even have five kimono and i always dress like the harajuku gurls cause they are supa kawaii (that means super cute in nihongo). One of my favorite manga is Furuutsu Basuketto, but dumb fat americans (not me) call it fruits basket cuz they can't speak nihongo cuz they're too stupid. but anyway, i have dark black hair (cause it's azn!) with sunkist blonde highlights (they're natural) and a dark complexion because I live in texas and in texas the sun kisses you a lot. But my story isn't in texas. It's in nippon! that's right, after my sophmore year of high school my precious mommy gave me money to go to nippon.

The day i went to the airport, i was wearing a dark plaid ruffled shirt under a bright pink vinyl jacket that was one size too big and a zebra print scarf over a snakeskin miniskirt with brown leggings and matching plaid legwarmers over my electric blue jelly chuck taylors. My hair was up in kawaii pigtails and i had on special makeup to make my eyes look azn. i looked so kawaii with my knockoff louis vitton suitcases. i was so kawaii that when i went up to check my bags, the employee told me i was supa sexah and slapped my ass after checking my bags. it was okay tho because he was hawt.

After getting some supa oishii starbucks coffee, i got on my plane and went to sleep. i dreamt of a gorgeous boy in a princely crown and a long cape. He was azn and had flowing silver hair. His eyes were big and purpley like Barney. idk how he was azn and had silver hair and was young, but i didn't care cuz he was drop dead gorgeous. In a beautiful voice, he whispered that he had been waiting for me for several long years. When i woke up, we were in tokyo, so i took my bags and got off the plane.

After i got out of the airport i left my baggage at a youth hostel cuz I'm too cheap for a hotel (azns are cheap! lolz). then i went to the neighborhood grocery store to get some sushi to eat for dinner. i was lost in the middle of the store, looking for sushi, when i heard a voice behind me. "You look lost, miss," he said. "What are you looking for?" i turned around and saw...the most gorgeous boy i had ever seen. He had flowing silver hair and...purple eyes! it then struck me that it was the same dreamboat from my dream! (lol) i extrapolated to him, "i'm looking for some sushi. Do you know where the sushi is?" he nodded and led me to the sushi section. i thanked him by bowing and saying "arigatoooo!" (thank you in nihongo!), then i reached for my favorite sushi. But as i reached for my favorite sushi...this weird man came up behind me and said, "OMG! american! i love american girls!". He had an erectation, and then he hugged me. It was gross, but i didn't feel a thing, because when he hugged me...a puff of smoke surrounded me...and before i knew it...i was a foot-long platypus! (a/n: i 3 platypuses they r so kawaii!)


	2. kaki

a/n: thank u sergienava brasnov 4 the review. keep reviewing!! sayonara! (bye in nihongo)

**Maii Purinsuu Chapter Ni**

i was sitting dum founded on the floor flapping around my chibi kawaii platypus flippers. The strange american-loving man started to scream and ran in the other way. the dreamboat from my dream (lol again!) turned around and saw me. He stared at me in shock. i wasnt sure how i looked as a platypus, but i hoped i was pretty kawaii so he would fall in love with me.

"omg!" he said. "You are part of the zodiac! i didnt know there was a platypus in the zodiac..."

i gave him what i hoped was a "wtf" expression. The zodiac? i had read about it in furuutsu basuketto, but as much as i loved yuuuki and furuutsu basuketto i knew it wasnt true. there was no zodiac...right? and i had hugged billy before (a/n: billy better not have been part of the zodiac because he's a fucking idiot. i hate you billy! Stop reading my story!) and nothing had happened...

But just as i was having these thoughts...i turned back into myself! But my clothes were convieniently gone (lolz!) and sitting in a heap beside me. i looked at them akwardly. the hottie shielded his eyes and handed me my clothes. Reluctantly i put on my dark plaid ruffled shirt, my bright pink vinyl jacket that was one size too big, my zebra print scarf, my snakeskin miniskirt, my brown leggings, my matching plaid legwarmers, and my electric blue jelly chuck taylors. but as soon as i put my clothes back on i started to feel weird. i was in a chibi state of shock from being a platypus, and then my head started spinning. Then...everything went black!


	3. aisukuriimu

a/n: zomg no one reviewed! i am supa sad. i almost didnt upload this chapter b/c i didnt think anyone would review it either. but i love writing about yuki so i did! but plz plz plz review onegai shimasu!!

**Maii Purinsu Chapter San**

When i woke up, i was in a supa sugoi japanese room with paper doors and straw floors. i was in a large bed with rose petals sprinkled between the sheets. It smelled like oishii japanese tea. i sniffed in passionately, getting high of the amazing scent. (a/n: jk lol hugs not drugs)

Suddenly, the door opened and i saw a tall man, about 6'2", with shoulder-length brown hiar and brown eyes and a yellow yukata with a black obi. he was carrying strawberry ice cream with whipped cream and chocolate sauce all over it. next to it he had a giant bottle of honey. i wasnt sure why he was giving me this because the last time i was awake i was woozy (but now i was feeling supa sexah in my lime green vinyl bra and a lacy bronze thong), but i didnt care becuz he looked like he was experienced.

"hi," said the man, "i don't think i know your name. But thats okay. i've given plenty of girls lingerie without knowing who they were. If you care to know, im Shigure Sohma."

He put down the ice cream in front of me and i grinned. "im Akemi, dozo yoroshiku."

"Akemi...that means bright, doesn't it? I'm pretty sure i can brighten you up." Shigure licked his lips seductively, and if i wasnt thinking about my dreamboat from my dream (lolz), i probly would have picked up that bottle of honey and rubbed it all over his chest. but i kept thinking of those lavender eyes, and i simply couldnt bring myself to cover him in chocolate sauce. i laughed nervously.

But he seemed to have no problem with me. he started to undo his yukata. i could see his bear chest. "You know, japanese men are more oishii than sushi."

He leaned in to get started, but suddenly someone opened the door. it was a short girl with long brown hair with one brown eye and one blue eye and a slutty japanese school uniform. She was ulgy. "shigure-san," she said, "We can't feed her ice cream and sweets! She's sick! she needs my miso soup! ...Do you know what happened to it?"

Shigure sighed and moved away from me, tying up his yukata. "She's not sick anymore, look how rosy her cheeks are! and besides, high school girls have iifficient immune systems- just ask Hatori. And i think that horrible cat ate your miso soup, Tohru darling, don't pin it on me."

"WHAT?! I HATE MISO SOUP SHIGURE!" Screamed a 5'11" ulgy boy with orange hair and maroon eyes. He was so ulgy i thought he was koreahn (a/n: koreahns r ulgy lolz!), but he spoke nihongo. "WHY ARE YOU BLAMING THIS ON ME WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY ATE THE SOUP SO YOU COULD RAPE THAT GIRL!!"

Tohru tried to pat the boy's arm. "Kyo-kun, Shigure would never rape an innocent girl as sick as this one..."

"What is going on here?" said the dreamboat from my dream, bursting in behind them. he saw the ice cream and honey. "Dear God Shigure, are you attemting to live out your fantisys again?"

Shigure sighed. "Oh Yuki, trying to make me a criminal again. if only you would see i am always working for the greater good." i got supa excited after he said this because not only was he leaving, but the dreamboat from my dream had a name- Yuki! he was Yuki Sohma! OMG!

Kyo yelled after Shigure. "THE GREATER GOOD?! YOU TRY TO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH EVERY GIRL WHO COMES IN THIS HOUSE! NOT EVEN KISA IS SAFE FROM YOUR LEPEROUS DEEEEEDS!!"

"Please, stupid cat, try to be civil." said Yuki.

"YOU KNOW WHAT DAMN RAT?" he shrieked like an baka (stupid in nihongo!). "I WILL RIP YOU AND-" then he looked to the ulgy girl. "UMM...YEAH."

"Haha, what a pussy." i muttered to myself. "being whipped by a ho..."

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU FREAKING PLATYPUS?!" Koy screamed in my direction. He was so ulgy. "I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE SCANTILY CLAD, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!"

"You wish." i said, laughing hilariously.

"Please kyo, contain your desires." Yuki said. i searched for a hint of jealousy in his melodicus voice.

"DAMN RAT- TIHJRKLHDJGIORDTJIERLGKNBCOHIJTIOYRESHTIEWDHVNCGH!" (Actualy, he was talking, but he was so dumb and ulgy and angry it was uncomprehendibal.) Finally, Tohru tore him away so me and Yuki had a private moment...he was quiet for a few minutes, seeming a bit pessive. He was hawt. Finally he turned to me.

"i should go get you your soup," he said, taking the kinky ice cream from me. "But first, what is your name?"

i smiled. He was gorgeous!! "My name is Akemi Tiffany Bloomingdale Butt. Dozo yoroshiku."

"Okay. Its nice to meet you. ill go get your soup, Butt-san."

He left the room and i almost fainted again. He said my name!


	4. kayaku gohan

a/n: zomg lyk no one is reviewing grrrrrr! and i promise this time if no one reviews i wont uplod the next chapter! and the next chapter is rly rly gooooooood! (p.s. there is sexxx so u want to read that dont u?) so reviewwww! :(

**Maii Purinsu Chapter Shi**

i sat there waiting for him to return with the soup, and all i could think about was the sound of his felt voice. More pacifistically, i could only think of the sound of two syllables cascading like Angel Falls in Bosnia off of his titanium tongue.

"Butt-san." that was my name!! my name! Yuki sohma new my name! i could have dyed from the new levels of ecstasy that i was reaching (a/n: i am not a druggie you sickos!1). i just wanted to hear him say my name again and again and again until the sound was numming.

yuki came back in the room with my soup. "here, Butt-san," he said, "eat this. You might not know what it is, but i promise you will feel better after eating it."

i smiled. "It's oishii miso soup! of COURSE i know what miso soup is. Its so oishii!" i ate it happily, not realizing that shigure and tohru and kyo had come back with yuki and were staring at me. there was this super tall, 6'5" ulgy man with long blackish hair and greenish eyes there too. He was dressed like a doctor with a long white coat and black pants and a black shirt and doctor-y tools so i assumed he was smart. but he was ulgy, so i didnt care about him.

"Akemi," said shigure, quite siriously. "We need to have a discussion. In my bedroom. ill bring snacks."

"GOD SHIGURE CAN YOU BE SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT?! THIS IS A FUCKED UP SITUATION AND WE DO NOT NEED YOUR MIND IN THE GUTTERRRRR!" said the ulgy boy who was most def not koreahn (a/n im sorry...c im not racist!!).

"yes, Shigure, please restrain your canine desires." said the doctor.

Shigure made a sad face at him that was pretty hot. "oh, Hatori, you are _such_ a cockblocker."

"SHIGURE SHUT UPPP!" said koy.

"okay, fine," he retarded. "Well, Akemi, i suppose we can share this special bond." i nodded. "The truth is, the sohma family curse means that 14 people in our family turn into the 12 animals of the zodiac, plus God and the cat, but thats not really important-"

"I HATE YOU!!11" said kyo.

"anyway," shigure said, glaring at the ulgy boy, "they turn into the animals when they are hugged by members of the opposite sex not in the zodiac. i am the dog, fitting my bed habits-"

"Shigure, please. This is not a singles ad." said yuki in his sexah felt voice.

"okay. i am the dog, Hatori is the dragon," then shigure coughed. idk why. "yuki is the rat, and kyo here is the cat. Tohru is not in the zodiac, but she is the only one who knows about it who is not one of the animals. or god."

i nodded again. "so...why are you telling me?"

"well, Akemi, it would seem that there is a year which we did not previously know of- the year of the platypus. You see, when that man hugged you, it was just like if a girl had hugged one of us- you turned into a platypus, but a supa small platypus. so, we think you are somehow a Sohma."

Yuki hung his head sadly. "reallllly?!" i asked. "so i am nihonjin?!"

"Well," started Hatori, "you are, in some way, japanese, yes. and you are a sohma, yes. we're not sure how much, but enough so you are the platypus in the zodiac."

"OMG!!" i extrapolated. "that's so sugoi!! ...but wait...if im a sohma, doesn't that mean that we cant-"

"NO!" said Shigure. "of course not. were not that closely related. you can do anyone you want...except only do me."

"SHIGURE!!1 NO FAIR!" said yuki, koy, and hatori. idk which one said no fair. i hope it was yuki. kyo is ulgy and so is hatori. They are ulgier than billy. (a/n: billy dont read my story!! do you hear me?? and stop calling me!!)

"...well, anyway, to answer your question, be as promisquous as you desire." he said. "but...we have to have a meeting with the head of the family about you. it won't be bad, even though it is your first time, after all you are part of the family. So, welcome to the sohma family. i promise you'll meet all of us." torhu tapped Shigures shoulder. "Oh, yes. Torhu has some clothes for you so you can take off that lingerie."

Hatori interjaculated. "Don't tell me this minor is waring your langerae."

"hatori, don't get jealous. But yes, Tohru has clothes for you and your belongings from the youth hostel. youll stay with us now, so get extremly comfortable."

"Okay!" i said. "when are we going to meet the head person?"

"at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, Butt-san," said yuki, all sexahly. "ill help you get ready."

"WHAT?! LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE SHIGURE! NOW EVEN THE DAMN RAT IS A HORNY BASTARD INSTEAD OF JUST A BASTARD! SOON WE WILL BE A HOTBEAD OF MOLESTERSSS! TORHU SAVE YOURSELF FROM THESE LEPERS!!"

"Youre one to talk." said Yuki. he was so good at being mean to the ulgy boy...i giggled.

but before their fight got worse, hatori made them all leave and left me to sleep some more for my big day tomorrow. i slept but all i could dream about was yuki and his gorgeous face. i was really glad we were only distant cousins. now he can fall in love with mee!!1


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